Episode 2.10 Transcript

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Welcome to Women Rabbis Talk! A podcast about women rabbis who talk to other women rabbis about being women who are rabbis. Imagine that. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I am Rabbi Emma Gottlieb and I am here with my favourite and only co host,

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Rabbi Marci Bellows! And I’m here with my favourite and only co host, which is like, so incredible.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Aw. It’s really great how that works. It would be so awkward if I was like my favourite coast! And you were like, I actually have another favourite co host.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
(Laughs) You’re my only co host.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Aw, well, that’s good. Okay,

Rabbi Marci Bellows
and my soul sister.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Aw, Soul Sister! (Sings) “Hey, Soul Sister.” All right. Um, I don’t even know what I was singing there, just making up a song. So, what are we thinking about today?

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Well, I know that you and I share something in common in addition to all the things that we share in common, but this thing in particular is something really, really special to both of us. And it’s a love of camp. And when I say camp, I’m referring specifically to the Union for Reform Judaism’s overnight camps throughout, well, throughout North America. And even the, I know, you’ve had experience of one in Africa, which will be really cool to hear about. And I would love to talk about that today. I’m really excited to be faculty at URJ’s Creative Arts Academy this summer. And I wanted to just kind of reflect on how camp has affected us as individuals and how it’s built who we are as human beings. So what’s what’s your, what’s your story with camp?

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Camp is fabulous. I mean, I, our listeners who have been with us since the beginning, know that both you and I have camp roots, that we grew up in camp life, and that it really informed our Jewish identity and our love of Jewish music and Jewish ritual, and taught us that Judaism can be fun. So I love talking about camp. I miss the URJ camping system a lot. It’s one of the only things about living in Africa that really makes me sad. At this time of year, especially, when social media is – okay new puppy Hold on. Ow. Ok. So as I was saying, Love camp grew up at, so I’ll shout out my my camps, grew up at Goldman Union Camp Institute, which is fondly known as GUCI, in Zionsville, Indiana, and I was camper there through my childhood. And then I went to the URJ KUTZ Camp Leadership Academy, which sadly, is no longer, but was a huge, huge piece of my camp growth and development, and Jewish growth and development. And then I was part of the founding summer of URJ Camp George in Canada. As a faculty member as a rabbi, I started out at Crane Lake, which is where I met you Marci! And, and then also was at the inaugural first two years of the URJ Sci-Tech East, which was amazing. And I also worked one summer when I was a rabbinical student at URJ Camp Harlam. So I’ve been around the URJ block, and it’s been great. Each one of them is amazing and different and has its own flavour. But they also all do all of the same critical stuff that we’re talking about and thinking about today.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
So what would you say those things are like, if you were to sum up a foundational element to all of the URJ camps, what would you say that that is?

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
I think what all of the camps do, and they, again, they do it in different ways. But they create the opportunity for kids to experience, day to day vibrant, integrated Judaism. So Judaism is woven into every part of their life at camp. They say, they sing Jewish songs or say Jewish prayers in the morning in a spirited way that affirms the experience of starting our day with gratitude and excitement. They use Hebrew throughout the day, in different ways. The buildings have Hebrew names, the activities have Hebrew names. They pray, not just on Shabbat, but often in different ways, sometimes creative ways, sometimes more traditional ways, that they pray during the week as well as on Shabbat. So they get that experience. And they get to know a little bit about the difference between praying in the morning and praying in the evening. Judaism’s wrapped into how they eat, they say prayers before and after their meals, they sing Jewish songs in the dining hall. They, all these amazing opportunities. And then at some of our camps, they go even deeper, they have opportunities to learn Hebrew in a in a more, in an even deeper and more involved way. Most of our camps have some kind of Shiur or limud activities during the day where Jewish learning is happening in fun and creative, informal, education, campy ways. And so the kids are having an awesome time at camp doing all the things that kids love to do at camp. And all of it is done Jewishly.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
that’s such a great summary of it. I love that. My camp story is that I grew up going to Olin Sang Ruby Union Institute, in Oconomowoc, , Wisconsin, O-C-O-N-O-M-O-W-O-C Wisconsin, and spent three summers there, which is not a lot or it doesn’t sound like a lot, but they were so fundamental to creating who I am as a human being. And I wanted to go back as staff. I didn’t, unfortunately. I became a lifeguard in, in high school, and that wound up taking up my summers. And that was the choice I made at the time, but my heart longed for camp. And it’s not the only reason I became a rabbi, of course, but in becoming a rabbi, one of the most glorious parts of it is I have an opportunity to go back to camp. And I know part of what you’re saying about the way Judaism is infused throughout nearly every activity, or really every activity depending on the camp and its philosophy, is that you’re seeing Jewish professionals come in and do these things with you. So not only do you have a counsellor, do you have a unit head, a camp director who are all amazing, but the camps invite faculty, and that’s where we’ve gone back. And we’ve served as rabbis, and we’ve lived for two weeks with the kids. We have our own housing, of course. So when I say live, I just mean we live day to day, and they get to see us off the Bima and off the pulpit, and in shorts and T shirts, and hanging out and enjoying the activities as much as they are. And that for me was enormous as a camper, was seeing these these big, imposing rabbinic figures of the Chicago area, come and ride bicycles around camp and teach us in such an informal way and sing silly songs. And I said, Oh, wait, there’s so much more to being a rabbi than I thought. And that seed was planted for me. And of course, Judaism, being fun, and livable, and something I could feel so passionate about. Learning how to sing songs that were expressive of our belief system as well, was just enormous. And I couldn’t wait every summer to go back or to least stay in touch with my camp friends, which I still am, in so many ways. And you are actually a camp friend of mine, because of our meeting at Crane Lake, as you said, as faculty, and then you were my bridesmaid because of that. And so you’re so right, I think camp is such a special important thing that too many families don’t know enough about, or maybe don’t realise, what an impact it can make on their child’s Jewish identity.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah, all of that, all of that is true. And I think, you know, we are both really committed to being at camp on faculty, when we’re able to, as I was saying, when I was so rudely interrupted by the puppy. Yeah, this is a time of year when I really, really miss being a camp, seeing all my friends on social media doing their camp things. And we do have a really interesting and amazing model of camp here in South Africa to with our youth movement, Netzer, but it’s a very different kind of, it’s very similar in terms of the living Jewishly. Throughout the day, camp style, is the same. But in Netzer, it’s much more by youth for youth, so the adult involvement is scaled back compared to what it is at our URJ camps. And our our rabbis here, do go up to camp and hang out and spend time there. And that’s been amazing. So I’m excited that I’m able to continue doing that, that thing that I’d love to do as a rabbi. But of course, here summer is in December. So when all of you are at URJ camps having a blast, I am not at camp. And so it’s hard, it’s hard, and I get major FOMO. But but it’s also just so beautiful, especially this year to see everybody back at camp and to see that our camps are thriving again, and are healthy and are doing an amazing job of bubbling and COVID testing and all the things that they’re doing to keep themselves and the kids safe. And it’s just, last year was just so painful for nobody got to go to camp.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Right.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
And it’s beautiful to see our camps up and running again this summer. This North American, North of the equator summer.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Yes. So do you see a straight line in any way between your experience as a camper and your decision to become a rabbi?

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah, it’s such an interesting question. And I think a lot of our listeners probably have noticed that a lot of our guests have camp in their backgrounds. And I think that a lot of rabbis who grew up at camp talk about camp as being part of their rabbinic or their journey to the rabbinate. For me, I wouldn’t say camp is completely responsible for my becoming a rabbi. But it’s certainly got me off on the right track. I mean, I think all of my love of Jewish, like singing Jewish music and prayer, and all of my like, earliest spiritual moments happened growing up at GUCI, and I have really powerful memories of, of being young and being spiritual in that space, and most of them are our musical, connected to music and singing together and a harmony and guitar and the trees and you know, all the stuff. And, and so I think you know the the love of prayer especially and of praying in community came 100% from camp. And, and then I think for me probably the Jewish professional side, I wasn’t yet thinking about being a rabbi when I was at camp, but I was thinking about becoming a cantor. And that part of me was fostered more at KUTZ, at the Leadership Academy, which is the camp that we had for teenagers, specifically, where it was sort of much more intentional training for Jewish Professional life, and where a lot of the teens who ended up there are thinking about growing up to become Jewish Professionals, or more involved in their Jewish communities. And, and so when I think about some of the things, that, some of the deeper learning that sort of sparked the seeds that that grew into my wanting to become a rabbi, that learning started, I think, really at KUTZ. I can think of, you know, specific classes, you know, courses that I took with specific rabbis and cantors, that that sort of whet my appetite for that deeper learning. And would I have ended up in the Rabbinate without that? Yeah, maybe, because there were lots of other pieces of my life that were Jewish and Jewishly active and I went to Day School, my dad’s a rabbi, and I grew up in my local youth group and all the stuff, but but I, but I don’t. But I don’t think that I would have loved it the same way if I hadn’t grown up at camp. And, and I think it’s very possible that if I hadn’t loved it the way that I loved it, that I wouldn’t have seen myself wanting to pursue a life of being actively Jewish the way that I am.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Yeah, well said, I totally agree with you that the seeds of just loving Judaism, were a direct line for me, when I eventually had the epiphany, so to speak, of becoming a rabbi, I saw that camp had built so much of that foundation, in addition to growing up with my mother on the Bima, and being involved in youth group, and you know, spending nearly every day of the week at Temple in some way. There was a whole different relationship with Judaism that formed after attending camp. And after living Judaism with these other people who really loved it, I wasn’t just sitting next to apathetic religious school students, and I was the only one who actually cared about what we were learning about at the synagogue. But I was surrounded by other campers who loved Judaism too, other counsellors who love Judaism, other leaders. And I know that OSRUI for a while, was the camp that they, they somehow knew that they had produced the most rabbis, out of all of their campers, I don’t know where that stands now. The only thing that I worry about is the cost of camp, and how prohibitive it can be for so many families. And I think that’s a real shame and something that the URJ gets criticised on frequently. And I think it’s worth mentioning that it’s really, it is a barrier to more and more kids growing up with this passionate, loving Jewish experience. And it’s just it’s not available to them.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah, and it makes our camps, less reflective of the diversity of the Jewish world, which is a big problem. And, you know, we want, we want our we want our kids to go to camp and learn about all different kinds of Jews, not just Jews who look like them and who live in the same kinds of homes and go to the same kinds of schools as they do. And, and we want all Jewish kids to be able to access the amazing stuff that that camp can be. I mean, there’s a whole other layer of it when we start to talk about Jews outside of North America. Again, our Netzer camp is amazing and fun, and they do an awesome job, but they have a totally different level of resource access. And you know what, what they’re able to do compared to a URJ camp obviously can’t be compared. And, you know, we would love to be able to send even just for the leadership training some of our South African kids to, you know, to some of the URJ camps or the other, you know, larger Jewish camps to get that experience and bring it back to inform Netzer camp and grow it in different ways. And, you know, even just the cost of sending one or two of our youth leaders is is prohibitive. So, you know, we’re we’re often looking for scholarship opportunities and matching opportunities and partnering opportunities and adopt-a-camper opportunities. If anyone out there would like to adopt a South African camper and send them to camp, please let me know. But But yeah, it’s I mean, it’s, it’s a challenge. And I think it is important to name it, Marci. And, you know, we also understand that, you know, it costs to run camps, and we have to figure out a way to balance out the necessary cost of camp and the prohibitive cost of camp.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Yeah, yeah, I, it breaks my heart when I think about how many kids don’t get to experience camp because of its price. And I you know, if any of our listeners have the resources to make major donations to camp, or to your synagogues for scholarships to send more kids, we are lucky in our congregation that we have a plentiful camp Scholarship Fund, and are able to send kids not based on need, but just to encourage them to go to camp, but very few synagogues have that kind of funding. And I so I encourage you to think about making donations to, to either a URJ camp specifically, or to your synagogue to have more kids have the opportunity to go.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah, and we should say because a lot of our listeners are not part of the Reform Movement. There are other amazing Jewish camps out there. Ramah has a really strong camping system. There are a lot of great Zionist, you know, young Zionist Movement camps out there and independent Jewish camps out there. When we had Rabbi Ruth from Bechol Lashon on, she was talking about their camp. And, you know, it doesn’t have to be URJ, there are lots of amazing Jewish camps out there. And of course, you and I have a unique and special connection to the URJ camping system. But I want to I just want to be like clear and on the record that any any Jewish campus is a great opportunity for kids to experience Judaism in a different way. And there’s tremendous value in that. Yeah.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Well, thanks for talking about this today.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Talking about camp it’s like a joy is our favourite thing to do after talking about musicals.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Oh, after musicals, that’s true.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
And Torah.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
And oh and Torah. Yeah, yeah. And singing about Torah musically.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
And singing about Torah musically, which is something that we probably learned to do at camp.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
So coming up, we have our special guest and we hope you’ll stick around. Thanks for listening today, and we’ll be right back.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
We are so so honoured today to have a guest who is different from every other guest we have had yet on our show. We have a Rabbi Cantor with us today. Rabbi Cantor Raina Soroti grew up in Los Angeles, California. She graduated with a Bachelor of Music Degree in voice performance from the University of California in Santa Barbara through the encouragement of one of her mentors Cantor Evan Kent – he is an awesome dude by the way – she enrolled in the cantorial program at Hebrew Union College Jewish Institute of Religion, serving congregations as a Student Cantor in New York and New Jersey. She received Cantorial Ordination in 2010. While serving the Toledo, Ohio Jewish community as the cantor of congregation Shomer Emuneem Reina applied to the rabbinical programme at Hebrew Union College Jewish Institute of Religion in LA to continue her studies to become a rabbi, serving congregations in Southern California before her rabbinical ordination in 2017. For the past four years, Rabbi Reina Soroti has served as the Rabbi of congregation Gemiluth Chassodim in Alexandria, Louisiana, and recently began her studies for a certificate in gerontology and palliative care from Yeshiva University. You are amazing. I can’t believe how much you are doing. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Wow. So welcome. What would you like us to call you while you’re with us today and why?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
You can call me Raina, and that’s basically what everyone calls me. Although the first time I came to this community, one of the children called me Miss Rabbi. So that’s sometimes is what I’m also to refer to as, but you can call me Reina.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
It doesn’t get confusing for people with the multiple venerated title?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
They usually just refer to me as Rabbi, although I sign all of my emails and the stationery says Rabbi Cantor.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Amazing. How and why did you first choose to become a cantor? And then how and why did you add on the rabbinic ordination?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
So I really think that I was really wanted to become a cantor after being involved in Hillel at Indiana University. It was really the first time that I was able to be a Jewish adult and really fell in love with the idea of being Jewish and also incorporating music into my studies. Although I transferred from from Indiana, I never left the Hillel life. And after graduation, I decided that perhaps I wanted to mix my love of Judaism and my love of music into a career. Since I didn’t grow up going to religious school or to Hebrew High or Jewish camps, my real, my Jewish life really started in college, I didn’t think I was going to be able to come become a cantor because I hadn’t gone to religious school. But through my adult studies, and through my mentorship by Cantor Evan Kent, he persuaded me to apply for cantorial school. And it was a wonderful, wonderful experience. I look fondly on the days that I spent at HUC in New York, where Emma and I were colleagues and students together.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah, we were we definitely were Oh, those many days ago.

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Yes, indeed. As soon as I realised that I was leaving for Israel now, almost 16 years ago, it seems like it was yesterday. I can’t believe that it’s been so long

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Time flies!

Rabbi Marci Bellows
So people may not know that there is this phenomenon of people who are cantors, and they decide for I’m sure many different reasons to return to seminary and to add on rabbinic ordination. What was going on within you? What was that internal debate that led to you deciding to become a rabbi as well?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Really, I think that it was while I was serving as a cantor in a two-clergy congregation, where a lot of the pastoral work was split between the rabbi and myself. And I realised that the pastoral aspect was something that I wasn’t able to study in cantorial school, and it was something that I really enjoyed about being a member of the clergy. As I spoke to a lot of my cantorial colleagues, especially the ones that graduated within a few years of me, I realised that that really wasn’t part of their job description. I really wanted to have more education on that front. And although I could have gone and taken Clinical Pastoral Education classes, I thought, well, let’s try to make myself a more well rounded Jewish member of the clergy. After two years of serving in Toledo. I decided that I really wanted to go back to rabbinical school. So that that year I decided that I was going to apply ultimately was accepted and decided to go to rabbinical school in Los Angeles where my family was. It was a long but very wonderful program. I am extremely happy to now add Rabbi to my title!

Rabbi Marci Bellows
So can you tell us more about the pulpits you’ve held as Cantor and Rabbi and what were some of the highlights?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
So as a cantor, I served as a student cantor as a sheini for one synagogue, which means that I was a second cantor. So I helped out the cantor that was in the congregation in Huntington, New York, which was a lot of fun, because I got to work with a very well seasoned cantor, who was a wonderful mentor, Cantor Sherry Pulaski. She was very real with me and telling me exactly what the cantorate was like, and how to really be a beneficial member to a congregation, and to make yourself well loved, and how to engage with the children, and how to engage with the adults. And so it was really lovely to have that sheini experience. And then I went on and served two years at Temple, Beth Miriam in Alberon, New Jersey. Just had a fantastic wonderful experience with that congregation. I was their only cantor. So I got to serve as as a student cantor and I was there for a few weeks a month. Still have really great relationships with some of those families whose you know, children who I Bar and Bat Mitzved are now getting married, and have graduated, graduated college. It’s really just, it’s so wonderful to be able to know that I’ve been part of all these families’ lives. My first experience as a full fledged cantor in Toledo, Ohio, was wonderful. It was a different place. I’d never really lived in the Midwest with, and worked in a Midwest congregation, because the last time I lived there, I was a student. Realising that Judaism exists in all parts of the United States, and being really used to Los Angeles Judaism and East Coast Judaism, and being able to see what Midwestern Judaism was like was eye opening and very different experience. And one of the things that I found was that when you are a minority in a city, that Judaism becomes even moreso important to your everyday existence. And so, although we were a medium sized congregation, synagogue life was indeed a part of their lives. And so we would have a nice group of regulars that would come to services and would come to programming. It was a really fantastic experience. It was also the first time that I had a high holy day choir. And so I was able to do pieces of high holiday music and, and music for the other holidays with professional musicians. That was a really fantastic experience as well. My rabbinical positions before becoming an ordained Rabbi, I worked as a hospital chaplain at Cedars Sinai Medical Centre, and also throughout, even before before cantorial school, through cantorial school, and through rabbinical school, I worked in various positions at Temple Isaiah in Los Angeles, through through teaching and through being a substitute cantor. And it was just a, you know, a wonderful experience. And still, that congregation is is a big part of my life as well.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
so many beautiful communities that you’ve touched and have been able to grow through.

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
I want to say to people that are thinking about becoming clergy, that it’s never too late to make that decision in your life. If you are an adult who has found Judaism again, that you can become a rabbi, you can become a cantor, you can become an educator, you can become any sort of Jewish professional that is in your life, it’s never too late to start learning and it’s never too late to make this your, your journey in life.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
That’s so important to say and to hear, and so true. Thank you so much. Raina, I’m actually I was reflecting as you were saying that on a conversation that I had today with a Bat Mitzvah student who I think would be a great rabbi and I was having that that conversation with her ‘cuz she had, she’s writing her D’var Torah about feminism and equality, and in South Africa, you know, we don’t have a lot of women rabbis yet, so she was talking about that. And, and I said to her, you know, we also don’t have any native (women) South African rabbis yet we don’t have any rabbis of of colour yet in South Africa, progressive rabbis. So if if you think that you might want to be a rabbi someday, I think you would be an amazing rabbi. And, you know, we were we were having that conversation. And afterwards I was feeling I was very glad that I had had that conversation with her. And it’ll surprise people who know me to hear me say this, but I am not always comfortable telling people what I think they should do. And and so I’m, I often get sort of nervous about having those like, do you want to be a rabbi conversations, or I think you should be a rabbi conversations, and also knowing that it’s so important for us to invite other people to join us in this sacred profession. Especially I think, when we’re reaching out to people who can help to take a minority branch of the rabbinate and help it to grow into an equal branch of the rabbinate. So I’m so glad right now that you brought that into this conversation as well. Thanks.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
We will move into some of the topics that we specifically wanted to talk to you about Reina. Or I guess the first of them, we’ve talked a little bit about already your your journey from the Cantrate to the Rabbinate or to becoming, and somebody you know, is going to ask this question – I know lots of people have asked me this question because I, I almost did what you did and then ended up not finishing cantorial school and just going to, straight into rabbinical school. But lots of people asked me: Is there a word for a rabbi-cantor? Like a some kind of hybrid word?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
I haven’t found a great one. But because crabbi sounds like crabby. Yeah. And then rantor sounds like someone who rants. So I’ve kind of taken and this is actually one of my screen-names, one of my email addresses. I’ve taken the Hebrew words of Rabbi and Cantor, Rav, and Chassan, and made it Ravzen!

Ravzen! Oh, that’s great. That’s such a unique approach. And definitely better than crabbi and rantor, which I have used jokingly, but not actually seriously suggested that anyone adopt. But that’s, that’s such a cool way of thinking about it. Oh, neat. Let’s see, we need to make T-shirts and get that out there in the world.

Absolutely.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
And and are you? Do you ever talk about this with other people? You’re not the only Rabbi Cantor out there. Do you, you talk about that as a group? Have you thought about sort of as a group adopting that, that kind of a title?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Well, one of my one of my colleagues has, I think that she has Rantor as her her licence plate.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Oh. Well, that’s funny.

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
But I have you know, I actually haven’t I wish that, you know, we should have a little facegroup group or something that for all of us, especially ones who have taken the HUC routes, of both ordinations, would, it would be, there’s not that many of us, it would be an interesting, interesting group discussion.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Definitely. Well, I’m really glad that we’re able to just bring all of you as a group through you into the spotlight a little bit because there are there are times where people will hear about my background, and they’ll say, oh, so I can call you Cantor also! And I’ll say, Well, no, actually, you can’t because I’m not a cantor. I didn’t finish cantorial school, there are people who have worked really hard to get both titles. And, you know, please don’t give me a title that I didn’t earn. But But yeah, so I but I do feel also a connection and an affinity to, to the group of you and just so excited to be able to spotlight the fact that there are incredible individuals like yourself who have done the work to get smicha both as Rabbi and Cantor and to serve communities in in really interesting in different ways, by being both.

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty Well, you certainly went through the the, the hard the hard first year in Israel as a cantorial student, when we were on campus for you know, 15 hours a day in taking all of our classes and preparing for all of the musical things. So yeah.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Thank you. I do I do I say that I’m a rabbi who has a cantorial toolkit, and that feels accurate. Yeah, thanks.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
The other thing Reina that we were really interested to speak to you about today is your your journey to motherhood. In addition to your journey into clergyhood. You have a really interesting and beautiful story. And we wondered if you would share it with us. And maybe we could talk a little bit about how it’s impacted your rabbinate and your cantorate, becoming a mother in the way that you did.

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
So one of the reasons why I chose to become a rabbi and serve a congregation in the South was that I knew from you know, in the past few years that as well as being a cantor, and as well as being a rabbi, I really wanted to be a mom. I knew that it was not going to be possible for me biologically. I knew that I wanted to find a way for me to have this this extra title that is, really, it’s the greatest title to have in the world. I mean, although you don’t have to go to school for it, it, my son is everything for me. So I decided that I was going to take classes to become certified, a certified foster parent. It’s 40 hours of classes that you have to take over, you know, an eight to 10 week period, lots of background checks, they have to check your house to make sure that you have running water and you have heat and a full refrigerator. You’d be very surprised that, what some of the living conditions can be for children, and that the State wants to make sure that if they are placing a child who has very likely experienced a lot of trauma, that they’re going to be in a safe environment. I had a few placements before my, my son Gabriel came into into care. And he was placed with me at a little under two and a half years old, he was labelled as nonverbal, he was very combative, and was not, did not have the skills to be able to communicate. But I saw a little boy who was in need of, of love and care, that he through through the process of a foster care. The first goal of foster care is reunification, that the State and the foster parents do as much as they possibly can to help parents be able to become reunified with their children. But unfortunately, and especially in Louisiana, many times that is not the case. And that children will either go to family members, or will be adopted through the foster care system, either by their current foster parents, or by other people who are willing to adopt children out of foster care. And so I fostered Gabriel for a year and a half before being able to adopt him in March of 2020, literally two weeks before our world closed down. He really has has been part of my heart and part of my life since November 28. When he in 20, in 2018, when he came into my home. I’m very fortunate to be able to have a relationship with his biological grandparents who love him and love me, and so that he’s very lucky because he won’t have a hole in his history, that he will know where he came from. And it’s wonderful that we’ve gained a family as well as well as him being able to gain a family through myself.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Wow. What a beautiful story Reina. And such a Mitzvah and an inspiration. Thank you for telling us about it.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Both Marci and I grew up as kids with parents on the Bima. So we know how sometimes the Rabbi or the Cantor’s family are under a microscope and in a fishbowl, and there’s a lot of scrutiny and a lot of like blessings and being part of a congregation, with your parent and your child, and also sometimes there are challenges that come with it as well. And so I’m wondering how your community responded while you were going through the process of becoming a foster parent and, and then the process of adopting Gabriel, and did that impact your rabbinate in any particular ways that you want to share with us?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
The congregation was very open to their rabbi being a foster parent, and the children that I had before Gabriel were welcomed with open arms within the congregation. Since a lot of them have grandchildren that live farther away, they enjoyed having more kids running around the temple. With Gabriel, it’s you know, as you two are clergy children, he is under the eye of many people in both positive and negative ways. With COVID, he hasn’t had to be in the building as much, if at al. Hopefully, he won’t have to be so scrutinised that it’s going to cause a negative effect about being in temple. But as you might remember, it’s very hard to sit in a congregation and in the sanctuary, while other children your age have their mommies or their daddies or their grandparents or aunts or uncles sitting next to them, and their mommy is up on the bima and they can’t be with them. That’s kind of been a little a little difficult for him to understand, even with Zoom, understanding that when when mommy closes the door, that it means that she’s off limits, that you’re not allowed to jump jump around the room and make faces or try to get my attention, as you know, as many clergy will will tell you that that that happens many times. But they love that he’s part of our family, we don’t have a very large religious school. And so adding adding another child is certainly certainly a plus. But our congregation historically has had a lot of children that were adopted. Adoption is a large part of many of my congregants families lives.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Wow, that’s also really beautiful, and and how great for you that some of your congregants can be maybe a resource and support to you who have been through that journey that you can share that, that special connection with them in that way. We’ve had other guests on our podcasts as well who are rabbis who’ve become parents in non traditional or non conventional ways. I’m curious to hear if you have any advice for rabbis who are thinking about becoming parents, I guess, in any way, but especially if they’re thinking about doing it in a way that others might find to be different or unusual. Or maybe they haven’t met somebody before who’s adopting a child or who’s choosing to have a child on their own. And now their rabbi is is doing it. Do you have any advice for rabbis or communities who are going through that or who are thinking about going through that?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
There are many, many children that are in need of homes, and from newborns to teenagers. The difference that you can make in a child’s life is paramount. It’s unbelievable. I urge them even if if a child if a family or an individual cannot be a foster parent that there are many organisations that they could lend a hand to. They can become Casa workers, which are advocates for children that are in foster care. They can volunteer in local foster closets. They can be advocates for children that are in foster care up until last year in Louisiana once you turned 18, and you’re still in foster care, you basically were dropped from the foster care system and left on your own. Recently, our governor has made arrangements for children to continue on in foster care until they’re 21, which allows them to get a few more years of footing underneath them to help them start a life. But adoption, foster care, is a really wonderful way to temporarily or permanently open your heart to a child in need. And I really recommend it to people who are thinking about helping a child, and if they want to open their homes permanently. There are plenty of children that could take a place in a bedroom in your home or, and in your heart.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Reina, just to go back to the rabbi slash cantor part of your life, you have stood on both sides of the Bima. What insights has that given you into Rabbi Cantor relations?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Okay. I think that it really is a goal to have a balanced bimah, to really be able to see your cantor and your rabbi as as equal clergy. I wish that congregations would be able to see that as well, that a cantor could marry a couple in just as beautiful and meaningful way as a rabbi can. A cantor is able to deliver a D’var Torah, is able to counsel people with marital problems or dealing with someone in their family who is dying. We are given a lot of the same skill-sets yet the decision to become a rabbi or become a cantor. The path varies a little bit. It’s not a huge difference in their studies. Ultimately, all of our goals are to be able to serve the Jewish people. One person’s goals and skillsets might make them very musical, but also a great speaker, whereas we have lots of rabbis that could song-lead circles around other cantors. So really ultimately, I wish that the programmes would maybe be intertwined so that people could study to be a Kolbo – rabbinical students that might not have as strong of a background in music could learn enough to be able to survive on their own, and that cantorial students are able to take classes to be able to have more pastoral education in their curriculum. So I really think that the future of the clergy should be going more towards that direction, especially since there are so many assault small congregations that can’t afford to have both a rabbi and a cantor.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Your answer is a really fascinating concept of let’s have people get the skills to do to do both.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
I think there’s also a lot that the different rabbinical seminaries can learn from each other in the way that they approach this question. So, you know, at HUC, in New York, they have, Reina when we were students, we were there as the cantorial school was really shifting. So when I started at HUC, what was offered to political students and control students was very separate. And by the time I left, rabbinical students could take guitar, you know, electives, and Torah chanting for rabbis, and nusach for rabbis and, and those kinds of electives had been created. And there was there was movement. And I think, also they in the opposite direction, there’s more that’s available to cantorial students, then there was when I was a cantorial student. At some of the other rabbinical schools, there is an even more balanced approach where we’re everybody’s learning the same amount of nusach. And the same service leading skills. Hebrew College has a really good approach to it. And it is really important to be thinking about balanced education for clergy. And, outside of the seminaries, I think it’s also really important to be having conversations where we’re giving kavod to cantors and helping to educate congregations, about exactly what Raina was saying that, that cantors can do almost all if not all of the same things as rabbis. And they may do it in a different way in a different style, their own unique skillsets and personalities, but but it’s really important for congregations to know that it’s not like a second tier, clergy position or, you know, a lower status of clergy, or something like that, which I think sometimes is the perception that you have, like the rabbi up here, and then the cantor one level down, and then the educator one level down, and it really does – we really need our congregations to have a more equitable view of their their clergy and their Jewish professionals, and to really value them not in a hierarchical way.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
On each episode, we have a segment called Ask The Rabbi, where our listeners submit questions that they would like our guests to answer. And this episode, we have a question that was submitted by someone anonymously. And here it is. And it’s very timely. How should we make informed decisions about Israel and Palestinian issues as they come up? It’s hard to know what to believe when we see such vicious images and memes, many of which are antisemitic on Facebook and Twitter. Rough rough question. So what do you think?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
So I think if possible, if you were able to speak to someone who is actually living through this experience in Israel, and could give you firsthand information about what they are physically seeing in the streets of their city, I think that is a wonderful way to be able to get news firsthand about any conflict, not just Israeli Palestinian. Certainly, I was speaking to a colleague who is currently living in Jerusalem, and he was filling me in about what he is going through as an Israeli citizen, what he sees each day. And one of the things that I think us not living in Israel and living in the diaspora, that it’s very important to be able to get your news from a variety of sources, because there’ll be a few snippets of information that you might find out in a source that you might not usually read, and that it’s important to read articles and watch the news from right wing and centrist and left wing sources so that you are able to get all this information and be able to try to process it for yourself. So if you’re reading Israeli newspapers, and you should read HaAretz and the Jerusalem Post that if you read one and not the other, you’re going to miss part of the story. I think that I’ve certainly have learned my lesson with that, because there are news sources that I will read, and I’ll say, Oh, yes, I totally agree with that person and that point of view, but I’m missing something if I’m not reading and listening to other people. So I think that making yourself as as well educated about a situation as possible is the best way to be able to educate yourself

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
What an important perspective, Reina. And I was thinking as you were talking about the other day, you know, this, I think, you know, what you’re saying is so true about having balance and listening to different sources the other day, I was listening to Trevor Noah on the Daily Social Distancing Show, I think it’s called now. And I was very upset with him because he was talking about, he said something like, let’s look at how many people are dead on each side. Like maybe that’s how we should be judging it, you know, by, by who’s by by the numbers, which, like, I can kind of understand, like, why on some level that might seem like it makes sense. But I thought, like, hang on a second, that doesn’t tell the whole story on either side. I mean, um, but then I also wondered like, am I being hypercritical? Am I being too sensitive? You know, and I wasn’t, I wasn’t sure if I was being overly upset or unfairly upset with, with Trevor Noah. And then I was listening to one of my favourite podcasts, which is the Israeli podcast, The Promised Podcast, I think it’s called and it’s it’s American, Israeli American journalists who, who give weekly news and about Israel, it’s an amazing podcast, if you’re looking for good Israel, podcasting. And they talked about, they played that clip from Trevor Noah, and from also one from John Oliver that they also were not thrilled with, and they talked about, like, why, like, what was problematic about each of them, and it was so helpful to hear them as Israelis, and and not just Israelis, but like Israelis who are who are usually pretty balanced and socially left and not, you know, who are, you know, Israelis that I know, are also concerned about Palestinians. You know, it was really helpful to hear them think through those clips and to hear their perspective on it and and to add that to my own reflection, so I think you’re exactly exactly right on about, you know, we we need we need to hear we need to know what all the different sides are saying. And we need to be able to reflect together somehow and process the different ways of thinking about it so that we can come to our own informed conclusions.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Yeah, it’s an especially complex situation this time. There is no black or white answer, and that’s what has made it so complicated. If you’re usually to the right on Israel, or usually to the left, that’s not going to help you this time. And that’s what’s been so frustrating when people have the hashtag Free Palestine, you know, on Twitter or on a sign, that shows I think ignorance, because it shows that they don’t understand the complexity of what’s actually going on. And so last Friday night, I instead of giving a sermon or a d’rash, I actually did just this just what we’re talking about. And I took the congregation because we were on Zoom, I said, I’m going to show you some websites of where I get information from. And I said, you know, here’s where you can consult, to find out and I took instead of news sites, I went to rabbinically, who do I listen to? And I saw, I said, here’s here’s AIPAC and here’s what their bias is going to be. Here’s JStreet and here’s what their bias is going to be. Here’s URJ, and here’s how they’re going to approach things. And you know, and I, I kind of, you know, went through it that way, and here’s ARZA, here’s Arzeinu, and it was really interesting and they appreciated filling in some of the gaps that way. We need to give a variety of sites and be clear about the biases that each presents.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
What a beautiful gift to give to your congregation, Marci by taking them through that.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Reina, we are going to shift into Questionnaire Mahair. Marci is excited. You’re excited. I’m excited. We’re all excited about Questionnaire Mahair. I’m gonna take you through these questions and you can give brief or less brief answers. You ready?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Yes.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
So Raina, who was your first woman rabbi, either in your home synagogue or that you were first aware of, or if you want, you can talk about your first woman cantor.

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
So my first woman rabbi, although I didn’t realise that it was very different that that a woman could be a rabbi was Rabbi Laura Geller at Temple Emanuel in Beverly Hills. She was the rabbi that I saw walking around the temple when I was in tot-Shabbat and tot programmes and in kindergarten in first grade. It wasn’t something that wasn’t typical to me, to see a woman Rabbi walking around a synagogue. I always knew that it existed. Although if you would have asked me when I was six years old, what I wanted to be I think that I wanted to be a cheerleader and a Girl Scout, so you know, Rabbi wasn’t on my radar at that age,

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
I think Rabbi should get pompoms. So tell us about a woman that inspires you, can be a woman who’s Jewish or otherwise,

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
I really love that Mayim Bialik has taken a stand and is unabashedly proud of her Judaism. Even though she is in Hollywood, that her Twitter, her Instagram, her Facebook, she is unapologetic about what she has to say about who she is and why she is the way that she is. I love that. I love that she is able to balance her faith and her observance with being a celebrity. It was great. We she came and spoke at the WRN conference. She doesn’t care when people write things that are not you know, that are anti anti Israel and she is not going to change the way that she feels. She expresses her opinions exactly the way that she wants to and I just I love her for that.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah, I love Mayim Bialik too. She is fantastic. Fill in the blank Raina: being a woman rabbi is or women rabbis are – or Cantor’s!

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Women rabbis are inspiring. I think that we are able to help our congregants become the best people that they can be. We don’t have to all try. We don’t have to try to make them into Jewish professionals. But I think that our role in in their lives helps them become better people, and we are able to steer them in in directions and perhaps help them achieve dreams that they might have not thought possible.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
What do you think would surprise people to learn about women rabbis or women cantors?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
I think that in our off hours, you know, we you know, take off our tallitot, and kippot and are normal people that go home and Netflix and chill and love to talk about things that aren’t necessarily Jewish, that you can come up to us on a Friday night and you know, and ask us if we like the ending of This Is Us, or if we’re like sad about what we saw. I think that I would love to be be able to take off the rabbi hat when in public more than I’m able to do so.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah, absolutely. I, yeah, I’m often working on authenticity in my rabbinate, and this podcast is part of that, as normalising and humanising rabbis. So thank you for saying that. A Jewish text teaching or value that inspires you or informs your life?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
One of the most unbelievable experiences I ever had was not even at my ordination, although my ordinations were fantastic. But actually, the first time that I saw Rabbi David Ellenson give the priestly benediction to an ordinee. It was in 2002 in Los Angeles, I was singing in the choir at Wilshire Boulevard temple, it was an absolutely spiritual experience. I was bawling, seeing someone that I didn’t even know at all being transformed by the priestly benediction. If you were in my office right now, I have so many examples of it. I mean, I even have a Pinterest board that is devoted to the priestly benediction because, and because I’m just I’m so taken by by its meaning. It really it’s it’s something that I bless people with all the time. I bless my son with it all the time. And it is it really is a truly a part of my my rabbinate, although I’m not a Cohein, to my knowledge. I feel that it is it is it’s such a meaningful piece of text that I I live by.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
I love that. I love that. In our Shabbat services in Cape Town, we end our Friday night services before we do kiddish we offer Birkat Kohanim to one another. And we do it in zoom and everybody puts their hands up and it’s so beautiful. It’s one of my favourite moments of the week every week. To shout out. Rabbi David Ellenson for a second because you you mentioned him in that in that story that we we do a lot of uplifting of women rabbis and talking about how how amazing women rabbis are, but Rabbi Ellenson is one of those rabbis who I think also really humanises rabbis and the rabbinate, and I always say that my favourite thing about Rabbi Ellenson, or my favourite moments with him, are when he makes himself cry, but you know, when he’s when he’s teaching or when he’s having, you know, one of those interpersonal moments on the bimah, or he’s talking about a colleague or student or something he’s really passionate about and he, and he emotes you know, so beautifully and just shows that it’s okay to be a rabbi and to be emotional. I think that’s especially important for us to see our male colleagues do not only our, not only our female colleagues. Reina the last question for you is, what are you thinking about these days?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Certainly what is happening in Israel, certainly thinking about the rise in antisemitism in the United States, about people thinking that rabbis, American Jews have anything to do with the conflict that is going on right now. And how a normal person running their errands should not be the scapegoat for civil unrest that’s happening 8000 miles away. But on a lighter note, I think that I am also thinking about the world being able to open up slowly again, that we are able to start seeing loved ones that we haven’t seen in a long time. I know that I just got back from seeing my family in Los Angeles and the the hugs and kisses that were so missed during that time, were even tenfold, a hundredfold more important and more loving, and just meant so much more. And looking forward to trying to get life to look like what our new normal is going to be and excited about about the future.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Kein Yehi Ratson!

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Yeah, amen to that.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Yeah. And also being mindful that there are lots of parts of the world that are still really far behind, and where hugging and vaccination and safety are still far in the distance, and we’re thinking of those people and sending them our love.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Yeah, Emma, thank you for reminding us of that.

Rabbi Cantor Raina Siroty
I’m praying that we’re able to share the wealth with vaccines and with information that so that the whole world could be coming back to life.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Amen. Kein yehi ratson, from your mouth to God’s ears. And and Biden’s?

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Rabbi Cantor Raina Soroti, what a joy to spend this precious time with you. Do you want to sing us a goodbye song? Something like that?

Rabbi Cantor Raina Siroty
Maybe yivarechecha?

Rabbi Marci Bellows
That’s such a good idea. Yes, please bless us.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
The Priestly Benediction

Rabbi Cantor Raina Siroty
One of my favourite favourite settings of this is by David Cates and a lot of people are not familiar with this setting but it’s it’s really beautiful and I love it so I think I’ll leave you with that if that if that if you would like that. Okay, perfect (Sings)

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Kein yehi ratson

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
Kein yehi ratson

Rabbi Marci Bellows
You have truly blessed us with your presence. So if any of our listeners want to reach out and thank you for your blessing, where can they find you on social media or online?

Rabbi Cantor Raina Siroty
They could find me at rainasirority.com as well as seeing what our temple is like on our website, jewishtemple.org

Rabbi Marci Bellows
How did you get that?

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty 12 years ago, they bought the domain, a little synagogue in Alexandria, Louisiana.

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb
The one and only Jewish Temple.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Fabulous. Wonderful. Thank you for joining us. It’s been so wonderful.

Rabbi Cantor Reina Siroty
Thank you for having me. This has been really a lot of fun. Yay. Thank you.

Rabbi Marci Bellows
Bye bye bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Transcribed by https://otter.ai